so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
