who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize