is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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