I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
