but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
