my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
