I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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