You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
