I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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