Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize