what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She said her name was "party"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize