He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I deserve this hangover.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
