Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
