To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
