The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
