i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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