Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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