And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
