well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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