can u get pink eye on your cock?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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