Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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