belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so explain again why im purple
no
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
