You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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