Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize