i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize