I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
