Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
