I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
