Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
