Hey man sorry I got all grabby
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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