Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize