woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
