I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
