there's paper in my vomit.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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