Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
