pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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