They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I could fuck to npr.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
