Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
