am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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