My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
