Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
