champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
