omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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