no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
