my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
