Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
