did you get engaged???
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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