i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry about my life...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
