there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
