I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
