oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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