this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Text me some of your sweat
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