I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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