Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
